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Archive for the ‘Just Funny’ Category

He’s With the Lord

heaen Photo by TomRaven

“…to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8)

The Lord called Grandpa home on Monday. While those left behind have breaking hearts, he is rejoicing as he meets his Savior face to face. Praise the Lord for Salvation and the unparalleled wonders that await those who know Him. (2 Corinthians 2:9).

A song that my sister and I are thinking about this week is I’ll Fly Away. In Sandy’s baby book mom wrote that when she was little, Gramp would play it and Sandy would flap her arms. Grampa probably got a good chuckle out of that. Grampa loved to play and was so musically talented! Though he couldn’t read music, he played the piano, organ, harmonica, violin, guitar and probably more. He could even play more than one instrument at a time. Our childhood was filled with joyous music! I hardly have a childhood memory that is not intertwined, in some way, with my grandparents.

You can read here and here for pictures and stories about growing up with Grampa. Oh, how I love him!

I ask for your prayers for Grandma and our family. The visitation is Thursday night and the funeral is on Friday afternoon.

Do you have a comforting scripture that helped you through a tough time? Please share!

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Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

Q:How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

This information was sent to me by my mother last week. Use at your own risk!

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